Fall To Pieces
by Miss N. Tonks
Summary: “I need you! It’s been a week since I told you! A week and you have been ignoring me ever since! You can’t ignore this and hope it will just go away Remus…” [NT&RL]


No idea where this came from, wrote it just now, might be a bit too dramatic, but i wanted to show how many emotions Tonks was feeling while she was pregnant and how difficult it would have been. I mean there must have been a bit of drama that either caused Lupin to ask Harry if he could join him, or either after he had and Tonks found out...

Anyway i will shut up now.

Oh and this has swearing in, Just thought i would warn you.

* * *

"Say something…" She whispered, her voice hoarse and on the verge of breaking, "Please Remus… say something… _anything_…" 

She stared at him intently, her dull grey eyes never leaving his.

Lupin didn't know what to say.

Her hair was lank and mousy brown again, just as it had been last year.

Her eyes were boaring a hole in his and he had to say something, just to break the silence.

His mouth was suddenly extremely dry. He swallowed.

"I… I don't know _what_ to say... I don't even know what to _feel_…"

A strange sound emitted from his wife's lips and she quickly covered her mouth with her hand, tears now streaming down her face.

He realised it was a sob.

She continued to cry for a few moments and he shifted uncomfortably in his chair, making no move to comfort her for fear she would reject him.

Finally she closed her eyes and began to steady her breathing.

"This isn't easy, you know?" She began, "I've… been all over the place this week, crying, throwing up, angry… angry with you, with myself, angry with my mum and the order, I even told my boss to shove his paper work up his… well… you know what I mean. And, and now _you_… you're so selfish! You tell me… Now you're saying… that _you_ don't know how to feel?"

Her voice was getting stronger and progressively louder as she continued. By the time she had finished she was almost shouting.

"I need you! It's been a week since I told you! A week and you have been ignoring me ever since! You can't ignore this and hope it will just _go away _Remus…"

This time she was shouting.

"LOOK AT ME" She stood and threw her mug across the room, she was struggling to fight back tears "A baby doesn't just _go away!_"

And with her words the room was thrown back into a startling silence.

The clock ticked and he could hear the muffled sounds of her muggle TV in the other room.

She was breathing heavily, glaring at him. Watching for his reaction, waiting for him to speak.

He did neither; he just sat there, and watched.

She finally looked away to see her hand was bleeding.

"Bugger" she cursed under her breath.

She went to the sink and ran her hand under the cold water.

There was another painful moment of silence.

"This isn't working is it?" She asked, calm now.

Her dull blue eyes showed no emotion.

"I just can't do this right now Tonks"

"Fine… I don't care. Fuck off and leave me with your kid, go on, prove to everyone that i'm just the silly love sick girl.. They were right and I was wrong. I never should have married you."

He rose from his seat; her glare was cold and unforgiving.

"Dora…"

"Are you going then?"

He ignored her and began to approach her, "Here, I'll fix your hand…. let me…"

"GET OFF ME! LEAVE ME ALONE! ALL YOU EVER DO IS HURT ME!"

She began to hit his chest with balled fists; tears rolling furiously down her cheeks.

"I hate you!" she sobbed. "Please…"

He struggling persisted until she finally gave up and collapsed into his chest.

She was shaking.

Almost reluctantly, Lupin wrapped his arms around her.

"I…" she looked at him, she was chocking on her own tears, sniffing and sobbing violently.

She was crying harder than he had ever seen her cry before.

"S… see?" She sobbed, "I'm so emotional…"

She began to wipe her cheek with the cuff of her robe.

"I wouldn't want to be around me either…"

Lupin gently let go of her and she took a few steps back.

"I… I don't hate you" She said, "And I'm sorry."

Her gaze softened slightly.

"Look, I'm... I'm going to go to my mum's, just for a week or so…"

Lupin nodded numbly.

This whole experience was strange and he didn't know how to feel about anything anymore.

She paused; perhaps she wanted him to stop her, to tell her not to go.

After another moment, she sighed.

"I… I guess I'll, see you next week…"

And she left with the familiar roar of fire and muffled sobs as she floo'ed to her parent's house.

And that's when he realised.

He was never going to be ready to be a father… but if there were anyone he would want struggle through it all with, it was her…

Nymphadora Tonks.

The mother of his child.

And he had just let her leave.


End file.
